Gods Journey With Me

Life has been a journey. In my youth I turned away from God. I felt weak even though my body was strong. I started looking for strength in the wrong places. I dated a girl who was into witchcraft. That is a false power, you don’t want to be part of you. I involved myself with the wrong side and paid the price. In my 20’s I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Things were scary a constant bombardment of voices. The stuff I would see, it was like I was in my own personal horror movie. While I was in the mental health hospital, I began to realize it might be spiritual. The hospital had a chapel in it. every time I would walk near the chapel, the voices would scream. That is when I knew I needed the God I once knew as child. I would cry out to God for relief, for silence. I realized I did not know God the way I wanted. I started taking courses like alpha just so I could learn more about Him. In one of these courses, I had the first powerful experience. The voices in my head were ramping up I could not pay attention. I closed my eyes, and asked God to just send His peace. At that moment I heard the most powerful SHHHHHH! In that moment, the voices were silenced. I experienced peace in my own head for the first time in a about 8 years. I could pay attention and learned about God’s grace. Now my mom would help me through as much as she could. What really helped was when she let the holy spirit lead her. Things got really bad the voices that were in my head all those years started talking through me. Most people would be afraid and not continue. Not my mom she kept a brave face and plowed through the battle. Once I was well enough, I moved out on my own. I forced myself to go to church as often as I could. The voices in my head did not like it there. I pushed through regardless of what was going on inside. I knew in my heart who God was. One day at church I was having an especially difficult day with the goings on in my head. I could not even hear what the pastor was talking about but felt led to be there. As I sat on my pew the voices were telling me to burn the hair of the lady in front of me, because her hair was messy. I heard the pastor ask if anyone needed prayed over. I raised my hand. People came around me and laid hands on me. As they prayed, I felt something dark being pulled out of me. It was like a deep-rooted weed getting pulled out through my forehead. I could feel the dark roots from my deepest of deeps pulled out. As soon as they finished praying, I noticed the silence I had longed for so long. I was free and fully aware of Him. God had healed me in an instant from something doctors said I would have to live with the rest of my life. God is greater than a doctor’s diagnosis Now I focus on Him, and I can focus on His voice and peace. I wanted to share to let all of you going through a battle that others cannot see. God sees it, and He will redeem it for his Glory. In your circumstance put as much focus as you can in God. Even if it is just being in His presence, or with His people. God just wants us to love and be loved.